


Cities in Dust

by mus



Series: Original fiction [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Fantasy, Injury, Other, Post-Apocalypse, Pre-Relationship, can be interpret as romantic or platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-14 00:33:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5722912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mus/pseuds/mus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My breath was heavy when I finally glimpsed over the lost city. Even from that cliff, still far away, it felt like I could smell the rust and concrete of the half-collapsed buildings. The scent of abandoned, decaying cities was forever seared into my memory. Once so glorious, now nothing but forgotten remains of the brightest times this world had seen.</p><p>--</p><p>  <i>There are none left there. All have fled or died, why would you want to return?</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Cities in Dust

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old thing (original draft was written in 2012) I recently remembered existed, and thought why not post it here. One shot; there isn't more to the setting or characters since I focus on my headworld with any original material these days.
> 
> One of the few things I've written in first person narrative. The narrating character is gender neutral and can be read as reader-insert, thought that wasn't my original intent back when writing this, so the story will likely not work for that purpose as well as one written specifically with that in mind.
> 
> I hope you like!

A gentle breeze was all that was needed to fill the air with dust.  The air was dry enough to drain me , taking away every drop of humidity from my mouth. Despite the the overcast there hadn't been rain, not a trace of refreshing shower. If it wasn't such godforsaken place I would've prayed for even a drizzle to ease the hike. The wind turned and blowed the dirt to my face.

I could but grit and attempt to cover my face with my scarf, ripping another hole in the fabric in doing so. I wasn't going to turn back. There was nothing where I was going to, but even more so from where I was coming from.

My breath was heavy when I finally glimpsed over the lost city. Even from that cliff, still far away, it felt like I could smell the rust and concrete of the half-collapsed buildings. The scent of abandoned, decaying cities was forever seared into my memory. Once so glorious, now nothing but forgotten remains of the brightest times this world had seen.

The bleak atmosphere covered in thick cloud curtains, hiding the sky - the only thing that resembled freedom in this dead world - made the sight dour. We had been prisoners of our ignorance and shortsightedness, and it had been ensured long ago that we would never be free.

I felt a brief breath of air tickling the back of my neck, hearing the familiar, irritatingly monotonous voice.

_There are none left there. All have fled or died, why would you want to return?_

I turned to face the sky titan.

He was so tall beside me. His form resembled one of a human but his features belonged to a raptor. He stood up proudly and his figure was strong yet his body language revealed his gentle nature.  His eyes were like an eagle's and he had mighty wings, but the most curious of his features was that he seemed to be formed of air, smoke... Like he wouldn't have been standing there at all. Like, if I touched him, my hands would only meet more dusty air. But I knew he was just as real as I was.

The war had hurt them more than us. I couldn't help but wonder why he had chosen to accompany me, mere human. My kind had destroyed not only our home, but theirs. He didn't blame me, though.

I felt guilt for what the previous generations had done, for what my kind had done. It felt as if this, what I witnessed every waking moment of my life, was all my kind would ever be able to offer the world. As if I couldn’t be any better than what had been proven to be true for so many humans before me. Rationally thinking I knew my thoughts were nonsense, yet the sentiment kept echoing in the back my mind. The titan repeatedly told me I hadn't there to be able to change things and I shouldn't feel guilt, but his words were only a temporary ease.

Every time I saw his eyes, I saw deep sorrow. Loss. Fear. I haven't had seen another human in two years, but he was far more alone than I was. There were other humans - I had seen slums, even colonies. We made it through these times, even if we struggled living of this earth.

But he didn't know if there was others. When I met him years ago, he was giving a goodbye to a dying friend. The last one still alive, and just briefly. I never dared to ask why their kind perished. I had always seen them as immortals, and I guess they were,  but something killed them. Every day I feared that something would take him too, and I couldn't put the relief I felt every morning, when I woke up and saw him still being well and alive, into words.

Every time I could glance at the titan's eyes, I had to turn away. Such great being yet the insecurity and woe I could sense within him.

"I guess I wanted to say my home finally a proper goodbye."

I saw how he tensed up and squeezed his eyes shut.

I was a tad of scared of talking to him about home, or anything even remotely related to that. A part of me was still unsure of how to behave in the titan's company in fear of him getting angry at me, but I was even more concerned that my words would bring him down for good. I didn't want to hurt him.

It was a weird thought. No matter how inferior I was in comparison to him, I could cause him so much pain, more than he would ever be able to bring upon me, with only a few words. It frightened me.

"Imber..."

 _I'm fine_ , he said. I stood there silent, watching him.

I knew he always lied about being fine. I wasn't sure if he knew I had realized that; probably he had, but had decided to hide it and keep pretending. I wondered why he hardly ever showed any emotion. The way he spoke, the way he denied feelings, the way he kept me at a certain distance even if he had admitted to considering me a friend. I wasn't sure if all the sky titans were that way or if there was some kind other reason for it. I didn't dare to ask.

I wanted to hug him, but one couldn't just hug a titan. I barely reached his knees. With a sigh I let my gaze slip down to ground, before I glanced over the valley at the city again.

The gloomy light played around in the dust on the buildings and streets and the mist in the air. The ruins looked oddly beautiful now matter how hideous the place actually was. It seemed somehow peaceful, relaxing. Almost like the city was just sleeping, waiting for a sunrise to wake it up. But I had been in similar places many times enough not to let that mislead me. This city was just as wan and agonizing as all others, and the fact that this had been my childhood home only made it worse. Personal. Sometimes I scavenged other places, and even if I felt bad for those who had lived there and lost everything - or had died - I managed to keep myself intact. I hadn't known those people. I hadn't known those streets. But these I knew.

"Then again... I don't really know if I want to go there..."

He looked at me being ever so slightly astonished. I felt that he wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words. That wasn't too uncommon, but when he turned away, I was surprised to notice see he looked at the city as I glimpsed at him.

He tried to pretend everything was okay, but I had seen that whimpering lip a thousand times, and another thousand times. But never before I had actually seen him cry.

Cry.

I was confused at first, not quite understanding it. He didn't shed tears but his expression and his majestic wings dropping down was a telltale sign of the nature of his silent wail.

It was quite a shock to me. He had never openly showed emotions, not like this. The titan's mourning made me feel broken, it hurt me, and somehow it was worse than I would've though emotional pain could be. I felt ill.

In that moment it hit me,  somewhere in the back of my mind: this was why he did his best to keep his emotions to himself. Being a titan, he had such an impact to everything around him. I had heard stories about it as child, but I had never had any reason to believe anything but that those descriptions were highly exaggerated. But now I couldn't deny the truth in those tales.

It was illogical.  I bemoaned, my breath coming short. Seeing Imber like that was the most horrifying thing to happen to me. It made my mind fuzzy.

I bit my hand. Hard. The physical pain made my thoughts wander away from emotion, and for a short while it cleared my mind a bit. But in the end it wasn't much help.

_I'm so sorry..._

I didn't hear his words. I was lying on the cliff, my body shaking as I sobbed. I think I tasted blood. I was still biting my hand...

_Please don't... I'm so sorry!_

I'm not sure what happened. I think I tried to stand up, but stumbled. Everything was so incoherent...

I fell off of the cliff.

I didn't really realize that I was falling before I saw him leaping after me, terror in his eyes and hands reached out to catch me. So absurd.

He flew down, trying desperately to reach for me before I'd hit the ground below. I felt his fingers around my waist. He wrapped his arms around me and gently pulled me close to his body; the warmth coming from him felt so sweet. Safe.

Though, Imber didn't have time to spread his wings and land safely , and the feeling of security disappeared quick as we crashed down to steep slope, rolling and sliding down. Despite obviously getting hurt Imber was silent, or at least I couldn't hear him over my yelling that was cut short momentarily only when there was a bump in the slide.

The movement stopped. I just waited for the fall to happen all over again, unwilling to move or even open my eyes.

Imber had protected me from getting hurt. As I finally took a brief look around, I noticed I was on the top of his chest. Imber was lying on the ground, he seemed unconscious, and even though I was unharmed apart from the bit in my hand, he's injuries were severe.

He was hardly breathing at all. His wonderful wings were in terrible condition and he had bruises and scratches all around  his body.  His carefully preened feathers were now sticking in all directions.

"Imber?"

I swallowed.

"Imber, can you hear me? Imber!"

He didn't respond. I stroked my fingers through the soft feathers on his chest. They felt like smoke.

I had never before been so physically close to him. I always pushed him away because I felt he deserved something better than what I had to offer. Yet still, he had stuck around.  He had always been there for me, when I was alone. He had saved me.

"Don't die... Imber... wake up... wake..."

It was hard to talk.

A faint cough. I smiled a bit, my hopes lifting a bit..

"Imber?"

He moaned and tried to move.

_It hurts._

"I know. Are you okay? I mean..."

_I understand... I think so. I will just have to rest..._

"Your injuries seem pretty bad."

He fell silent. A moment passed with tiny whirls of smoke emerging from his wounds. Even his blood was so surreal, like a fluffy dream rather than a life-sustaining fluid. He wasn't as physical as lesser beings, living on the edge of realities. Logically thinking I knew it actually was one of his kind’s strengths, not being so dependent on his bodily form, yet it made him appear vulnerable.

_I'm not as fragile as you humans._

He was right about that. Though I think he was hurt more than he showed out. Maybe he was scared of how I would react, especially after what just happened.

He looked a bit uneasy and frustrated.

"Am I bothering you? I..." Maybe I should get off from top of him?

_No._

He wanted to say something again, but he buried his thoughts as secrets somewhere in the depths of his inscrutable mind.

A calm wind blew in the valley, moving misty veils around us. It gave me the chills. Imber raised his hand to shelter me. His movements were slow and unwieldy - even in this weak state he appeared to be more worried about me than himself. I sighed.

"Why do you even care about me?"

He didn't utter a word, just looked away from me. I couldn't help wondering what he really saw in me. I was nothing beside him, yet he had risked his well being for me. I was a human, he a sky titan - the most magnificent form of live this world had ever seen. Literally and figuratively his entire existence resembled everything those like me admired and desired so much. Splendour. Honour. Freedom.

He mumbled something, so quietly I hardly noticed he spoke, being preoccupied with my thoughts.

"What did you say?"

He glimpsed at me.

_I love you._


End file.
